20 Reasons Married Sex is the Best Sex


TheWife and I have been married for 10 years. We’ve been together exclusively for 15. And we’re in our 30s, so obviously we’ve spent nearly all of our adult years together. My experience, along with that of my closest friends, has convinced me that married sex is the best sex. There are 3 big reasons: Emotions, Ease, and Opportunity. Allow me to explain.

Note: When I say married sex, I’m not referring specifically to marriage as an institution. I don’t think that those in long-term relationships but uninterested in marriage are “missing out.” Really what I’m describing is monogamish sexual exclusiveness and long-term relationships including feelings of love.


1. Unmatched Bonds of Emotional Love, Intimacy, and Vulnerability

While there are certainly positives to casual sex, rarely do those positives include things like increased emotional love, strengthened bonds of intimacy, or a greater comfort being vulnerable with your partner. Being intimate with the one you love is a broader, more encompassing sexual experience. It’s unmatched by anything casual.

2. Greater Sexual Satisfaction and Self Esteem

Sex with your spouse increases your sexual satisfaction and self esteem. When you consider the significant amount of people with Physical Touch as their prominent love language, it’s no wonder married people with satisfying sex lives can generally overcome any other marital hardship.

3. Strengthening of Commitment to Relationship

While this could be explained by simple biochemistry, I prefer to illustrate it with quality time and shared experiences together. Sex with your spouse strengthens your (and their) commitment to the relationship, each other, and ultimately ones’ self.

Ease of Relations

4. Sex is Safer – No STDs

Once tested and clear of STDs, a monogamous relationship reduces the risk of STDs to zero.

5. You van Be Yourself

It can be stressful being naked and vulnerable with someone new. Marriage takes that stress off the table. Your partner knows you. He loves you. She appreciates your body. You are their person. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t shaved, your nail polish is chipping, you’re still carrying your winter weight.

6. All Day Foreplay

One thing TheWife and I really enjoy is all day foreplay. Whether it’s sexting, sending pictures, or just chatting throughout the day, we’re constantly engaging with each other, and when we are finally together in the evenings, it’s as though we’ve been together all day.

7. You Can Ask For What You Want

One thing I’ve noticed from friends in the casual dating pool is that while the variety of sex and sexual partners is increased, the satisfaction with those experiences doesn’t increase in the same way. People into casual sex don’t always feel comfortable telling their partner what they want, what works for them, how they get off, etc. In a marriage, you don’t have to worry about whether your partner thinks you’re weird or kinky. They love you. They want to please you. And you can ask for what you want.

8. You Laugh Together

There have been so many times in our relationship that something has happened during sex and TheWife and I had to laugh about it. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, and sex creates the opportunity for hilarious things to happen. Funny noises, condom conundrums, a lifetime of trying new things is bound to create the opportunity for a hell of a sexual blooper reel. Laugh, try again, move on.

9. Whenever, Wherever

A Target family bathroom? The top floor of a parking garage after hours? A walk on the beach with nobody within a hundred yards in any direction? We’ve found opportunities everywhere for a good grope, make out session, or even some semi-public sexual rendezvous.

10. You Know How To Please Each Other

Does your partner like kisses on thier neck? Gentle kisses or nibbles on her nipples? A hard smack on his ass? Chances are, with time and attention, you learn what each other likes, you find out the best way to get each other off, and you fulfill each other’s sexual wants and needs. This is a much more difficult tango in the casual sex world.

Opportunity for Adventure

11. Morning Sex

Your spouse is always there in the morning. Waking up with sex beats a cup of joe any day.

12. Scheduling Sex

People think scheduling sex takes the spontaneity out of it. But couples who prioritize sex to the point of scheduling it recognize and respond to their own and their partner’s needs with much better than those waiting for it to happen. They also don’t let as much time pass between sessions. Making it a priority makes it happen more often.

13. Maintenance Sex

Sometimes you just need to fill your love tank. Sex with your partrner helps maintain the relationship, keeping your love tanks full and your marital bonds strong.

14. Quickies

Quickies are amazing. The rush, the time constraints, the excitement. If you aren’t having quickies, you’re missing out on one of the great joys of life.

15. Afternoon Delight

Sky rockets in flight… Seriously, though, right up there with quickies is Afternoon Delight. Something about some lazy sunday afternoon delight just re-energizes you for the week ahead.

16. Your Own Routine

After years of being with the same person, you start developing your own personal routine. For some, this can be disheartening. But when I think of routine sex, it feels more like a cherished childhood blanket; A handful of trusted positions that we both enjoy, about the same length of time each session, lots of eye contact, climaxing together, etc. It can be wonderfully comforting.

17. More Sex, Better Sex, and More Oral

There is a common misconception among the married and single alike that single people are out there getting it on all the time… much more regularly than married couples. But many modern surveys on sex and relationships find that married people have both higher amounts of and more satisfying sex lives, including more oral sex than their single peers.

18. Post-Coital Cuddle

Sex and love have a synergistic relationship, pulling and pushing on each other with the goal of increasing satisfaction among each. The post coital cuddle is the perfect proof of that. Whether you’ve just climaxed from another bout of routine sex or you’re coming down from subspace after an intense BDSM play session, many enjoy post-coital cuddle. The skin-to-skin cuddling releases dopamine and oxytocin, the former commonly referred to as the pleasure hormone (or neurotransmitter) and the latter, the love hormone. Cuddling strengthens feelings of love and pleasure, continuing to strengthen the loving bond between you.

19. A Lifetime of Experimenting and Playing Ahead

As your relationship matures and cycles through all the ups and downs, your sex life rides those waves too. With open communication and a desire for sexual fulfillment, you and your partner have a lifetime to explore all of your desires and fantasies, to experiment and play, and to learn new things about yourself and each other. Love, trust, comfort, and a desire to please can lead to a lifetime of sexual adventures and gratification.

20. Your Top Reason

What’s your favorite reason that marriage sex is the best sex? What did we miss? Leave a comment below and keep the conversation going.

About the author

The Husband

By day he's a prominent healthcare professional, but by night he shows his true self; a sex-obsessed husband with a knack for blogging. His musings include sex aids and relationship enhancements, exploring sex-related ideas and fantasies, and writing erotic short stories.

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